


7 Minutes in Heaven!

by irlsimon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlsimon/pseuds/irlsimon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If the metaphor is to come out of the closet, then why are you getting into one? Oh, the irony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	7 Minutes in Heaven!

**Author's Note:**

> im a walking cliche

"Dave!"

"Oh no..."

"Dave, come here!"

You weren't sure how they had found you, because you really had tried your best to stay far away from the group—consisting of John, Rose, and Jade all sitting together, with Gamzee, Sollux, as well as what looked like two open spaces where other people had been sitting and two very disgruntled lurkers you recognized as Nepeta Leijon and Eridan Ampora—in the living room sitting in a lopsided circle around an empty Smirnoff bottle, spinning it and sending the victims off to another room. You had tried to stay far, _far_ away because you knew they would drag you into the game, and you didn't want to play. Everyone in the circle was either someone you hated or a good friend, and it would be your luck to get picked.

But you couldn't ignore the voice calling out to you. You'd never been able to.

"'Sup, Egderp?"

You plop down beside your sister, Rose, who barely gives you a second glance. She seems pretty drunk already—which is only vaguely irritating—and she's making eyes at another girl across the circle, who doesn't appear to be drunk at all. Though she does keep nervously glancing at Rose. She looks more confused than anything and probably frustrated that she can't just lean over and ask Rose why the hell she's staring at her. But that was just your guess. That would be what you would think, anyway.

"We're playing 7 Minutes in Heaven! Have you played before?"

You shrug. "No, can't say that I have. And I really don't want to."

"Oh come on!" John pleaded. "It's really fun. I haven't been picked yet, but it's been hilarious so far. The last ones to get picked were Karkat and Terezi. He seemed pretty happy about it, but we all had to practically drag Terezi into the closet with him. He's probably dead, but we won't know for another like, three minutes."

"So what do you do exactly?"

"It's like a kissing game, sort of." Jade interjected before John could open his mouth. "The next person in line spins the bottle. Terezi was sitting in the space next to where you're sitting, so you would be next if you chose to play, actually. Anyway, you'd spin this bottle. Whoever it lands on is the one you have to go into the closet with for exactly seven minutes. Whatever you do in there is a complete secret to us. We have no idea. It's so much fun!"

You lean back on your hands. "So you don't actually have to do anything with that person? Okay, cool, I'm in." Dave glanced at Gamzee, who was currently passed out, snoring loudly under a mountain of soda bottles. Unless the bottle stopped on him. Then he was out. He was _so out_. There was no way he would get stuck in a closet with that train wreck for seven seconds, let alone seven minutes. Someone probably would die.

"I'm guessing you want to get picked by her." You look over at your sister, nodding in the direction of the girl she was looking at. It was so hard to remember her name. Mostly because you hadn't met her before, but that was irrelevant. "I didn't know you were gay."

"Likewise." Rose slurred, turning her attention to you. "You're pretty gay, yourself."

"Uh, excuse me." You sit up, crossing your arms over your chest. "I'm not gay."

Rose snorts. "Please. If you're not gay, then I'm not a girl."

You glare at each other. "I've never even been with a guy."

"First sign your gay."

"No way!" You snap. When you see a few heads turn in your direction, you lower your voice. "Come on, Rose. Be serious."

"I am being serious." She said smoothly, no longer slurring. Was she actually drunk or was she pretending to be drunk? She was so difficult to figure out sometimes. "I've never seen you with a girl. I suppose that doesn't mean you're gay, but you don't even look at them. Ever. It's not a bad thing that you're gay. I'm just making an observation, Dave. And I'm usually right."

"Well you're wrong this time." She snorts. 

"Don't knock it until you try it."

Karkat and Terezi choose that moment to return. Terezi walks calmly over to her spot beside you, grinning from ear-to-ear. She turns her head in your direction and inhales. Her grin broadens.

"Hey, cool kid!" She bumps your shoulder with hers. "I didn't expect to not see you here!" She laughs at her own joke. You can't help but chuckle along with her, bumping her shoulder in return.

"I'm here for ironic purposes. Because you didn't expect it. It's sort of what I do." You shrug and look up at Karkat, who'd been walking much slower than Terezi. "Whoa, dude, your face looks like it was just mauled by a rabid gerbil. What's that about?"

"Something like that." Karkat mutters in response, ignoring your question. As he's walking in front of Terezi, she sticks her cane out in his path, successfully tripping him. He flails and goes tumbling into Gamzee, who sits up with a shout. He instantly calms down when he sees Karkat laying across his lap, a stupid grin spreading across his painted face. You roll your eyes.

"What's up, Karbro?"

"Get off, clown face!" Karkat shrieks as he scrambles to get off of Gamzee.

Gamzee just laughs. "Hey, you all up and landed on me, bro."

"Anyway..." Jade laughs uncomfortably. "It's your turn, Dave. Go ahead and spin the bottle."

You shrug and reach forward to spin it. Everyone watches it in silence. You have no idea who you want it to land on. Honestly, you don't really care. You just hope it isn't Gamzee. Or Rose—oh God that would be weird—or even John. That would be weird, too, but for different reasons. And you weren't entirely sure if you even knew those reasons, you just knew that those were the people you didn't want to go into that damned closet with. In a way, you wouldn't mind if you had to go in with Terezi. The two of you had sort of dated once, though you really were using the word _dating_ loosely. Jade ran a close second.

The bottle made a few more circles before slowly coming to a stop. You stare at the bottle for a few seconds, knowing who it's pointing to. You know and you don't want to look up. Because if you do, you're going to fly off the handle. There was absolute silence in the group, though the party surrounding you was utter chaos. Slowly you look up, and John is staring at you with wide eyes. You're sure that your expression is a mirror image of his. How does he feel about getting chosen? Jade herself had said that you didn't have to do anything, and no one would ever have to know. But... you could also do whatever you wanted and still... no one had to know. The only question was did you want to do anything?

Why had John been one of the people you had absolutely not wanted to go into the closet with?

"Okay, you guys can stop ogling at each other. Go, or we'll drag you into the closet." Jade commanded. Dave stood up and John followed suit, both of them moving towards the aforementioned closet in silence. Dave walked in first, John following and closing the door behind them. It was dark and actually really cramped. It had a musty smell, like it was rarely used. You reached around with your hand, hoping for some sort of light switch, but frowned when you came up empty.

"Well..." You sighed, leaning back against the wall on your side of the closet, staring through the darkness where John stood awkwardly in front of you. Your legs were all twisted, and you could feel his hands against your thigh. He was fidgeting a lot. It was making you nervous, and that was really uncool. "If this is what Heaven is like, I think I'd rather just become a vampire and live forever or something."

"Sorry. You were probably hoping literally anyone else had gotten picked." John muttered. Still fidgeting. Damn it! You nudge his ankle with your foot.

"Dude, stop with the hands. You're making me nervous."

"Sorry, I can't help it."

"Why?"

There was a really long pause. You could have sworn at least two minutes had passed. "Because I wanted to get picked."

"Y—you what?" You sputtered, completely shocked. "You wanted... to get picked... by me? Why?"

John tried to shift around, but the way your legs were twisted around his, it just wasn't happening. He gave up with an exasperated huff. "I don't know... I just wanted you to pick me. I was glad I found you earlier because I didn't want anyone else to pick me. I was hoping it would be you. I was even planning on leaving the game if I'd gotten picked by anyone else."

"John—"

"That makes me gay though, and you're not gay. So this is just going to be an awkward seven minutes for the both of us. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to play. I didn't know what I was thinking." He laughed, but it wasn't John's normal happy laugh. "No, I knew what I was thinking. I was hoping I could tell you all this and you'd tell me you felt the same. I'm such an idiot. You pegged me, Dave, you got it. Egderp. That's me."

This was probably the most ironic situation you'd ever been in. And it was entirely uncool. And you also didn't really care. Blindly, you sought out John's fidgeting hands. You felt his body tense in shock, having not expected you to do what you were doing.

"Dave?"

"What?"

"You're not gonna—"

"Of course not."

You tug on his hands. John swears as he stumbles, knocking something over, falling against your chest. He stutters out an apology, trying to back off, but you let go of his hands and grab his waist instead, holding him where he stood. "I have no idea where your face is." You say quietly, squinting through the darkness. Seriously though, like how dark can a fucking closet be? This was impossible.

You feel John's clammy hands press against your cheeks, tilting your face up. God, was he really that much taller than you. Damn it. "Your hands feel gross, dude."

"Shut up."

Your first reaction is to pull away, wipe your mouth, and shriek about how gay you _aren't_ when you feel his lips on yours. Because kissing John was entirely unexpected and not entirely unpleasant. But the lack of unpleasantness went along with your second reaction, which was to attempt to pull him closer—which, of course, you did. You didn't want to be a cliché, but you could feel your heart pounding away inside your chest. There had been no way of knowing you would like kissing John this much. He was your best friend, so you'd never really given kissing him any thought. Of course you hadn't. You were both guys. And he was your best friend.

But it wasn't like you hadn't noticed him. And not like noticed him like, _"Oh hey, John, best friend, buddy, ol' pal, how ya doin'?"_ Nothing like that. More like how his eyes changed color with the mood he was in, and that you knew he was happy when they were light blue. Or how he bit his lip whenever he was thinking about a question seriously. Or when he fidgeted his fingers when he was nervous. Or how his smile seemed to get even bigger when you walked in the room. Yeah, you'd noticed that. Why you'd never given it much thought though, that surprised you.

Yeah, you'd had a weird fling with Terezi, and some sort of odd crush-but-not-really on Jade. But John was different. It was like he was on another level you hadn't quite reached yet but had been slowly working towards. You realized that if whatever had began in this closet continued, it would actually mean something, because John meant a lot to you. You couldn't pretend this hadn't happened. You wouldn't be able to forget this. And you didn't want to, either. Honestly, you wanted to push it as far it could go. Seven minutes in Heaven, right?

"John, how long as it been?" You pull back, feeling short of breath and vaguely lightheaded. So weird. "Seven minutes, right?"

"I don't know. I think so." He didn't move. You sighed and tried to untangle yourself from him to open the door but only stumbled and shoved your shoulder up against the wall. You grimaced in pain and mumbled unintelligibly under your breath. John laughed and twisted out of your way so you could reach the handle. You try turning it, but it doesn't budge.

"Uh, John? Can this thing be locked?"

"It shouldn't be." He tried the handle, too, but it still didn't turn. He groaned. "Damn it."

"What?"

"I knew this would happen." He mumbled, falling back against the opposite wall. "I didn't know it would happen this time, but I knew it was going to happen."

"What the hell are you talking about, Egderp?"

"Everyone had been talking about pulling a prank on one of the couples who had to go into the closet. It was going to be done randomly. We would all know there would be a prank, we would just have no idea who it would be pulled on. They must have taken a vote when we went in and locked the door somehow." John laughed. "They'll unlock it when the party's over or if they're feeling merciful. It's not a big deal."

You sigh, leaning heavily against the wall. After a few seconds, you get tired of standing and slide to the floor. Your knees are almost up to your chin in this small space. "This sucks."

John laughs again. "You don't want to be stuck in a closet with me all night? That hurts. And here I thought you were enjoying our time together."

"Shut up!"

"Oh come on, Strider, I'm only messing with you." John's legs smoosh up against yours as he slides to the floor, still in front of you. "But seriously... you did like it, right? You weren't just trying to make me feel better, right? Because that would make me feel worse. I didn't want you to feel like you had to kiss me. I was being stupid."

"You're always stupid." You mutter. "But I happen to like it. Sort of."

"Dave."

"What?"

John somehow manages to find your hands in the darkness. He tugs on your hands, making you swear as you awkwardly shift out of your knees-for-a-chin position and then swear some more—even louder, you feel like adding—when he pulls you forward onto his lap. You push against his chest, your first goal being to get as far away as you can in this damned closet, but he wraps his arms around your waist. Stupid kid has a grip, you'll give him that.

When you give up on trying to break free, he loosens his hold on you, but never actually lets go. A silence passes between the two of you, and you'd sooner call it resigned rather than awkward. You'd stopped feeling nervous a while ago now. Resigned was probably the best word you could come up with at this particular moment.

"How long is this party?" You ask him eventually, trying to listen for any breaks in the shouting, laughing, off-key singing, or the horrible music blasting from the even worse speakers. You really wish you could have found your way to the DJ to make some much needed improvements to this party.

You feel John shrug, mostly because you'd moved your hands from your lap to his shoulders because you didn't like how close your hands were to his crotch in your current situation. Not that either of you seemed to mind the actual situation, but still. You had standards, and you weren't about to accidentally—or on purpose—fondle Egbert in a closet. It just wasn't happening. Unless he asked.

_Very nicely_.

"I really don't know."

"Ugh." You drop your head, resting it on John's shoulder. "I'm not complaining, I'm just complaining. It's really hot in this stupid closet, but it was cold outside so I wore a jacket. Not to mention I'm fucking starving. I haven't eaten anything all day. Why? Don't ask Egderp, because you don't want to know."

"Uh... okay?" John said, though it really sounded more like a question. "You know, you can take off your jacket."

"You just want me to strip."

"I wouldn't complain if you did, but if you're hot, you should probably take off your jacket, Dave. I can't do anything about the heat, and it's not like we have water in here or anything if you have a heat stroke or something."

"I'm not going to have a heat stroke, Egderp."

He shrugged. "I'm just saying, worst case scenario."

"You're such an idiot." You mutter, unzipping your jacket. "Help me out."

"Smooth, Strider." John laughs, pushing your jacket off your shoulders. "I'm pretty sure you could do this yourself. You just want me to undress you."

"No!" You snap, feeling your face burn. Suddenly you're grateful for the darkness. "I would probably accidentally smack you in the face with my arm trying to get it off by myself. I was just looking out for you, you fucking tard."

"You keep telling yourself that." John tosses your jacket to side, sliding his arms around your waist again. "So what are we gonna do with our remaining time in Heaven? I'm sure we've got hours at this point." John paused. "Do you... want to kiss again? Or was that just experimental for you?"

"I'm not gay." You couldn't help but point out. You felt like you needed to, like maybe it was being challenged again. So, you felt pretty sure you weren't gay, except you really liked kissing John. And he was a guy. So that made you gay. Or gay for John, at least, and you weren't sure if that was weird or not. "But I do want to kiss you again."

This time you made the first move, sliding your hands up from his shoulders to his neck, pulling him down to meet you halfway. Honestly you still couldn't get over how much taller he was. Had he always been so tall, or were you just realizing it now because it actually mattered? He unwound his arms from your waist and slid his hands underneath your shirt, pressing them against the small of your back, pushing down as he gently shifted his hips up. You gasp quietly against his lips and lean back for a second, only to return to the kiss with a new vigor, sliding your fingers up from his neck and into his hair, pulling at it hard enough to elicit a sharp groan from him. You could not stress enough how much you hadn't expected to like this.

You could feel his hands all over you, and you loved it. You loved this feeling. It was difficult to describe. It was exhilarating. And not just because you were making out and getting hot and heavy with a guy. It was because you were making out and getting hot and heavy with John. _John fucking Egbert_. And he really wasn't giving you any good reason to stop. You could feel his hand palming you through the fabric of your jeans and you bit the inside of your cheek, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He wasn't giving you a reason to stop, no, but you knew it needed to stop. Not because you didn't want wherever he was taking this, because let's face it, you so did. You just weren't ready for it. And there was no way in hell you were losing your virginity in a fucking closet. _Hell no_.

"John—nngh." You sit up and push against his chest, closing your eyes and trying to take deep, calming breaths. "S—stop. We need to chill out." You move away from him, returning to your spot on the floor so you could try to think clearly. Sitting on his lap was _not helping_ your train of thought. "I'm sorry. I just—"

"No, it's okay." You didn't know how you could tell, but you knew he was smiling. And not in a mocking sort of way, but in a ridiculously happy sort of way. "I would have stopped eventually, too. I don't want to do that sort of thing in a closet."

"Oh, cool. Then we're on the same page." You nod, still trying to get a handle on your pounding heart. Damn this thing. "I think."

"You know... we won't be able to just forget this happened. Or I won't be able to, at least. I like you, Dave. And not just as a friend, but you're still my best friend! But like... as more than a friend. I don't know when that started. I just started realizing I didn't like seeing you with other people. Like the way Terezi was looking at you earlier irritated me."

"She's blind, John. She wasn't looking at anything."

"I know that! But she was still looking at you weird, and I know you guys sort of had a thing, and I did feel a little jealous. And then I know how you feel about Jade—"

"Wait, how do you—"

"You told me once." John said quietly. "A couple years ago, you tried to explain your weird not-crush on Jade. I knew what it meant, that you might try and ask her out, and at first I didn't really care. I didn't want you like that. I was happy for you. I don't know what changed. I started thinking about why you'd chosen Jade. Like, I know you guys are really close. So I shouldn't have been surprised. But then I started thinking why'd you choose her and not me. I freaked out for a while." He went silent for a minute or two. "Do you remember when I barely talked to for like a week in the eighth grade?"

You nod, but when you realize he probably can't see you, you say, "Yeah, I remember."

"Well, that's when I sort of realized I had a crush on you. I still wonder where it came from, that sudden jealously over you choosing Jade and not me. But anyway, after this, if you don't want to—you know—try to keep it going then... I don't know. It'll be awkward for me. I'll get over it eventually. But I don't want to make you suffer because I developed a stupid crush on my straight best friend."

"I'm not gay." You repeated for like the millionth time. God, you sounded like a broken record. "But... I'm probably gay for you. Just saying."

"Wait, seriously?"

"What can I say?" You shrugged, trying not to smile despite yourself. "You're pretty persuasive. Or your mouth is, anyway. You're a pretty good kisser, Egderp. I'll give credit where credit is due." Now it was your turn to make an awkward pause. "But you're not the only one who developed a crush. I mean, I wouldn't use that word explicitly, because it was more like I noticed things about you that best friend probably wouldn't, especially two apparently straight male best friends, you know? And like I didn't really think about it too much until around that time I was sort of with Terezi. I think she could tell I wasn't really into what we were trying to create."

John laughed. "Thanks I guess?" He hesitated, and you could feel him start fidgeting again. You repressed a sigh. "Does that mean... I guess, maybe, _we_ could try... dating? I don't know, it's stupid. I'm stupid. This is stupid. And you're not—"

Giving yourself a mental fist bump for being able to find your way through the darkness and not break either of your faces, you grab John by his cheeks and kiss him pretty hard. He makes a weird—but also hilarious—snorting slash grunting noise in surprise, but he melts in record time, pulling you right back down onto his lap. You feel the urge to roll your eyes but you repress that, too, in favor of kissing him.

"You're not stupid." You say breathlessly when you lean back, keeping the palms of your hands pressed firmly against his cheeks. You can't see him, but you're hoping you're making eye contact. "I want to try dating. I've never actually been in a serious relationship. I've made out with plenty of girls at parties. I had that sort of relationship with Terezi, and that didn't go anywhere, and I _had_ a crush on Jade. So I don't actually know what the hell I'm doing. But I really do want to try." You lean in for another kiss. "I—"

You look up, squinting against the sudden light filling the cramped closet. When you recognize Jade's silhouette, you try to scramble away from John, but he latches onto your waist like it's a lifeline. Knowing his damned superhuman grip, you give up trying fight him immediately, resigned to your impending humiliation.

Jade giggles and starts to walk away, leaving the door open. "Guess I owe Rose twenty dollars."


End file.
